The husband does not love the child: what to do?
Children are the greatest happiness that fate gives us. But, unfortunately, not everyone understands this and there are such cases when the baby receives love, affection and care only from the mother. Because the father expresses indifference to the child with his whole appearance or openly shows with his whole appearance his non-love for the child. This fact is very sad, because such an attitude to the native man seems cruel and not understandable to the mother of the child. After all, no one warned her that she would take care of the crumbs on her own, and her own father would be so cold and removed from him.
What to do in such cases, to accept or try to improve the relationship between father and child? It all depends on the reason for this behavior of a man. In our article, we will consider and analyze ways out of various situations.
The husband does not give time to the newborn
Sleepless nights, constant cries of the baby and the nervous state of a woman are ready to unbalance anyone. What can we say about the father of the baby.Especially if the child in the family is the first, then for a man such a situation becomes a surprise. Because life is changing dramatically, and with it the state of the woman he loves. She becomes irritable, tired and not always able to cope with her household duties, including marital debt. No wonder they say that husbands are the same children, because they constantly need to pay attention.
In addition, some of the newly minted fathers often have a feeling of fear towards the newborn. They are afraid not to cope with the crumbs, do not know how to properly hold it and what to do with it. Hence, there is often a feeling of detachment from the Pope. But actually it is not. Because when a little time passes, the baby will get stronger, and dad will no longer be afraid for him and will be closer to him and spend more time with him. A woman in such a situation can only wait and not “push” at the same time on the man, forcing him to nurse with the child.
Does not express emotions due to the nature
All men are by nature less emotional than women.But there are cases when a person is also very reserved in character and stingy for the expression of feelings. In this case, even if he is very happy with his child and loves him very much, he will never say a word about it and will not show it externally. As a rule, any wife knows such nuances well and only in her power to try to “melt” the icy heart. If the family plans to replenish and the woman knows about the similar "callousness" of her man, then it is worth preparing him for the appearance of the baby in advance.
- Frequently walk with friends or acquaintances who have children. In these meetings, he will be able to see the attitude of fathers to their offspring and their care. It will also be important for him to listen to the stories of overcoming the first difficulties that arise at the birth of a child.
- Even at the stage of pregnancy, let your husband watch your baby move, put his hand on his tummy, so that he himself will feel the first shocks of small hands and legs. Be sure to take it with you on the ultrasound.
- Do not break on her husband and do not criticize for insensitive attitude towards the tiny little man. On the contrary, try in every way to interest and encourage any, even small, manifestations of feelings.
Signs that the husband does not love the child
Before claiming that the father does not love his children, make sure that this is true. It is possible that in you just says an insult, because the husband does not give enough time to his son or daughter, and entrust the education of the crumbs completely to you. Manifestations of paternal indifference are expressed in different ways:
But after all such behavior in relation to the child is sometimes observed even in good and caring dads. Therefore, blaming a husband for not loving his own son or daughter is only when he constantly has these emotions.
Why some men initially do not like their own children
Any woman still at the stage of pregnancy is attached to her baby and imbued with a feeling of deep tenderness and love for him. In men, these feelings are manifested much later, when you already have the opportunity to play with the toddler, communicate with him, even non-verbally and get to know him better. Especially strongly paternal feelings wake up when a son or daughter grows up and begins to show qualities that match the character of the father, or when children begin to support and share his hobbies and interests with his father.
For different men it takes a different amount of time to make their own offspring. Someone already from the cradle loves to mess with the baby, and someone only from a school age child realizes that this is his little copy. Therefore, it is not necessary to spoil relations with the husband in vain, scold him, shame and even more compare with other "ideal" fathers. Everyone shows his love in different ways. The main thing is that the native father provided the children, took them to a kindergarten, a group or a walk when it was required and respectful of the mother of their children.
But if, as he grows older, love and warm feelings for his native little man and the responsibility for him do not wish to come to his father, then there is only one reason for this. Most likely, he was not originally going to become a father. There are situations when the baby is not in the immediate plans of the man, but the woman expects that the situation will magically change as soon as she becomes pregnant. Not every man loves such surprises, especially if he did not initially love a woman and did not have strong feelings for her. Such an approach on her part only aggravates the situation, because he deliberately begins to negatively relate to an “unplanned” child.
You can’t forcibly be nice and we don’t have the right to make a man love and adore his own son or daughter if he doesn’t want it. But a woman has the strength to instill in her husband carefulness, care and interest in her child. The main thing to do is dosed out and gradually. In this case, it is not necessary to condemn and strictly reproach, if something is not very good for him in dealing with children.