The child swears by a floor: possible reasons and the decision of a problem
Someone uses curses in order toinsult and humiliate the interlocutor, someone - in order to add speeches of expressiveness and weight, someone - just wanting to appear in a certain company. Some swearing is considered totally unacceptable, others do not find anything special in this and perceive it simply as part of the popular culture. However, in the overwhelming majority of cases, both agree that it is unacceptable for children to curse. At all times and in all cultures, children are always associated with something bright and pure, and obscene language, even by the most ardent of its admirers, is not positioned as something pure.
However, since children do not live in strict isolation,but in society, obscene language penetrates into their conversations. Unfortunately, recently parents are increasingly faced with the fact that a child swears at school. What to do in this case? It is important to understand the causes of this phenomenon, the motivations that prompted the child to use strong expressions, and the goal that he wants to achieve. Then you can timely, gently and correctly correct the behavior of the baby.
The First Shock
So, the kid just learned to speak. He still hardly speaks a word. And then, along with a touching babble, a swear word or expression sounds distinctly. Parents are in shock! Then the events develop according to one of the rolled scenarios. The first: the child is scolded and strictly forbidden to pronounce such words in the future. Second: for the first shock should at first a nervous laugh, and then quite a full-fledged sincere laughter. Well, you must! So small, and there too! How cool! On the Internet, you can easily find a lot of videos with material about how children swear at a mat. Jokes of this kind are very popular. And put their children on public display more often than themselves parents.
Why does a very small child swear at a mat? What should parents do? It is very important to remember that at the age of two or three years your baby simply can not understand the meanings of these words. Simply children grasp everything on the fly and try to use it immediately. But at this moment it is worth to think about where the kid heard such words from. If it is customary in your family to use obscene language or, in rare cases, but it is still acceptable, be prepared for the child to follow your example sooner or later. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to monitor the purity of one's own speech.
In addition, the abusive expressions of a small childcan hear from older siblings or their friends, guests, on a walk or from the TV. Analyze the circle of communication and protect the baby from the danger of "catching" unpleasant words for you. In case you heard abuse from a two-year-old boy, just ignore her. Do not react violently! Especially detrimental in this case is laughter. After all, realizing that I have brought you joy, the kid will try again and again to provoke this reaction. If you do not pay attention, it is likely that the child will simply forget an incomprehensible word for him. However, remember that this approach is effective only with children of two or three years. When a child grows, his perception changes. It is necessary to change and approaches.
Attempts at manipulation
At the age of three to five years, a small childswearing obscenities already knowingly. Naturally, he does not yet fully understand the meaning of the words used. But the fact that these words are bad, he is already aware. Interestingly, the use of curses may be a signal that the child is desperately trying to somehow attract the attention of his parents. The mechanism of this phenomenon is simple enough, and the logic is truly childish.
Imagine a simple daily situation: parents are completely absorbed in caring for their baby - in order to qualitatively feed, put on time on time, dress beautifully and buy good educational toys. But here, in order to give the baby enough time, the strength, as a rule, no longer exists. "Go play," "watch TV," "baby, my mother is tired ...." And the child leaves. But the desire for attention remains. And one day, when he says a new word, he gets such a coveted attention! In especially neglected cases, the child will not be stopped even by the fact that it will be a stormy reaction and even punishment. Most importantly, he now feels that mom and dad are interested in him.
Clarifying the situation
As in the case of very young children, hereit is important not to react too violently. You can ask where the child heard such words. Since by this age the circle of communication is expanding, the source may be a friend in the kindergarten or a neighbor. Take a good look at the reaction. Does the child expect a special relationship to the said? Maybe he still does not understand the meaning of the words? Or does the child swear at a mat already consciously, realizing that these are some special expressions?
Sit down and calmly, and most importantly - directly andrespectfully explain the meaning of these words. Tell them that they are used to offend the other. Do good boys and girls want to offend their friends? Well, if other children say this, then, probably, they are still very small and silly. And they themselves do not know what they are saying. A nonsense to repeat after the other is not worth it. Dad and mom do not like it.
And, of course, try to spend with the childmore time. It is much easier to invest in it good now, than to eradicate the bad then. Do not forget that at this tender age, children do not just quickly absorb all incoming information. There is a formation of personality in which you can and should take a direct part.
Problems of primary classes
In the lower grades the child curses more oftenall in order to gain authority among peers. But sometimes it can happen and as an attempt to annoy parents. At this age, the child is fully aware that parents do not like these speech streams. And on his part, it can be a kind of revenge for refusing to buy something or for punishment.
Another reason can be covered in the reactions themselvesparents on the actions of the child. If children hear in their address the words "fool", "scoundrel", "dumbass", then in order to annoy parents? they will use the same pattern of behavior. And, of course, they will not check their lexicon for censorship.
Learn to think about the meaning of words
Thinking about how to wean the child to cussalways start by analyzing your attitude, your way of communication. And not only with the child himself, but also with the spouse, and with other members of the family. Eliminate verbal grievances from your conversations and try not to watch, even with children, those films and serials where such a style of communication is exposed inoffensive, funny and witty.
And having heard from the lips of a schoolboy an obscene speech,ask him to explain the meaning of this word. Why did he use it in this sentence? What is the connection? Is it necessary there? And why him? Be absolutely calm. Let the child see that it does not achieve the desired shocking effect, but, on the contrary, looks like a foolish nonsmyshlinyshem.
Attempts to win recognition
At the age of 10-11 years the child often swears with a matin school, copying the behavior of either peers or idol, whether it's an actor, sportsman or even one of fictional characters. In this way, he tries to get the recognition of his friends and stand out from the crowd. Psychologists believe that by using brusque words in a speech, children give an outlet for unrealized energy. Therefore, in their opinion, those who attend sports sections, engage in some kind of hobby or have additional extracurricular activities, are less inclined to use abusive language. However, these data are controversial, so it would not be very wise to consider an additional load as a panacea.
Importance of Discernment
Correcting the child's behavior and speech, it is importantunderstand why a child swears with a mat. If your son or daughter is imitated, try to gently point to another example. And it's important to do this without kinks. Understand what exactly attracts a child. Courage? Savvy? Popularity? Here, insight is important. Having understood that the child likes, choose a more worthy example. It will take time, but it's worth it.
What if it's a desire to decorate your speech? Make it expressive and bright? Show that the use of scolding only impoverishes conversation. Just analyze together, as evidenced by the never-ending addition of obscene expressions. It's just that a person has a poor vocabulary. Emphasize that, speaking in a competent and capacious way, you can stand out with your speech.
Most difficult, of course, with adolescents. If, understanding why children swear at a mat, it is relatively easy to eliminate this problem, then teenagers do not have to wait for easy ways. They feel themselves quite adult and independent and often just rebel against the system, against established rules, trying to prove their own independence and individuality.
However, it is worth explaining that you as a parenthave the full right to establish rules in your home. And the teenager must obey them. Parents can prohibit abuse in their presence. In addition, it is not superfluous to tell about the origin of such a speech. And at the same time and ask whether your son or daughter really wants to be associated with a criminal environment. It can act sobering.
What not to do
If a child swears with a mat, neverreact too violently. Do not set unmotivated prohibitions. Be sure to explain why you do not want to hear the abuse from the mouth of the child. Also, do not enter double standards. If you can not swear to anyone, then this also applies to you. And it would be correct not to chastise the child in front of others. Find out all alone. Respect the feelings of a son or daughter. Then you can with good reason expect that they will show respect to you.